7 Years!
I look back today of where we've been. What we've done. Seven years ago I married my perfect match, my soulmate. The one person who has always been there for me. The person I could not be here without.
Keith is the greatest man that's ever been in my life. He's always there for me. He's supportive and comforting. I cannot begin to express the feeling I have seeing him after a long day's work. The closest discription I have is I feel like the kids. When the kids hear daddy they jump up and run screaming "Daddy's home!" My children are an amazing representation of what we have. My children are my light. They are the joy in our home. They keep us energitic and outgoing. I love the way our day starts off with them as energetic as bunnies. And the way it ends with I Love Yous and kid kisses. My life is amazing, especially with my wonderful soulmate in it. I love my man, my eternal companion.

My daily rambelings. :)

Last night I got to thinking...
There seems to be a lot of turmoil on this earth constantly. Obviously we see the earthquakes and tsunamis and how they are disasters and tearing up homes and villages. From this we see the strength of people. We see the courage and love people have for their fellow man. I am just in awe at the way people have come together for Haiti and are now coming together for Japan and Chile. There is no doubt in my mind that we are all Heavenly Father's children. We all sense the need to take care of one another and carry eachother's burdens. We all see and instinctively feel the need to support each other. We don't just turn our backs and say simply "that sucks". 'We all know how wrong that would feel. I think of the wars and rumors of wars that are talked about in the last days. I honestly had my own epiphany last night about this. I know that when it talks about brother and sister fighting one another, yes, we see that right now within corporations. In all fairness don't we see that among ourselves? As a church, as a family, as a people? We constantly see where there are wars and rumors of wars among even our closest circles. And its these that are devastating. It's these that are an abomination, to our Father in Heaven. He sees and feels what we feel. Christ died so that we may live, and return. Why must we do what we feel is right in the heat of the moment? Gordon B Hinckley taught us to "stay the steady course". We can avoid this contention or at least lessen it by setting a good example and not fighting our point but continue our lives in the best way we can. As President Hinckley stated we should live by the words of Pultizer Prize winner Barbara Tuchman, "This is what I believe. This I will do and that I will not do. This is my code of behavior and that is outside it.” Reminding ourselves of this will bring us great joy and peace and we will be able to live in harmony again.

Here's MY list for the year.

I posted this on facebook, but decided I'd share it here too after the last post.

So 2010 has made me think I want some goals to keep me busy. And some of you know what I mean. So this year, I've decided to be crafty. This is what I have in store.

1. Make a FHE Board
~ so far I want the family name and stars with each of our pictures to say who's in charge of what.
2. The Living Christ Photo Matted Frame
3. Wooden Block Family Name to go in entry way.
4. Wooden Block Christmas Ornaments for Christmas gifts.
5. Complete first year scrapbook for B and K.
6. Finish and release new blog.
7. Clean up food storage and make new 72 hr kits.
8. Make event cards (birthday for kids & adults, get well, sympathy and baby...)

So these are my projects of the year. I want to add more. So anyone is welcome to comment or link some new ideas. I'm happy to do these with people. So if you want in let me know. I'm starting now with the original wooden blocks I did a few years ago at a scrapbook convention. I think I'm going with a Disney theme... but I may just do Happy Hopkins Blocks. I love my family and hope they enjoy the blocks too. As I said I'm happy to do these with others just let me know, because I will need to either get materials for us to do them or tell you what materials you need to get.

150 Things to do before you die.

So I was given this list...
Asked to post it on my blog to show the world what I have done so far. So I'll say whomever reads this you're invited to do the same.
Make all that you have done bold.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink --> no thanks
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candle light bath with someone
08. Said "I love you" and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea ---> oceanshore count? probably not
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten celebration with champagne ---> a long long long time ago...
24. Given more than you can afford to charity---> all the time... hahaha
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse ---> don't bet
29. Asked out a stranger --> pass... I'm happy.
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn't care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk --->sad, but true.
42. Had amazing friends ---> I love them!
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country ---> is Manhattan a foreign country? cause I have on 5th Ave... it was random but a great birthday.
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love ---> NOPE thankfully
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them ---> kinda, we had a stranger sit with us.
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played DVD for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie --> extra only, and I have never found it... but I was on set for a long time.
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced ---> NEVER ON MY LIST OF TO DO!
76. Gone without food for 5 days ---> Impossible
77. Made cookies from scratch ---> does it count if I watch?
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo temporary or not
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on a television news program as an "expert"
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date ---> clarify, we knew each other a long time. and that was our only date.
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship --> Queen Mary wasn't moving obviously.
94. Spoken more than one language
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children ---> raising...
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery --> not on my list.
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds ---> thank goodness I have never had that much to lose.
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback ---> my dad has... and I don't want to be that way.
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on a photo safari --->want to.
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears --> no thanks!
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol ---> contrary to popular belief.
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild---> ewww no.
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period ---> after surgery.
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach ---> grossest thing ever.
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head --->half of it
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life --> donno if it counts.

So 69... not too shabby.

After all is said and done. The only thing that matters is family. My family is amazing. I love them. My son and my daughter are the greatest blessings in my life. They teach me courage and forgiveness everyday. I love my family. And I know they give me more strength than I ever need. This weekend has been a test. A time of mixed emotions. I think it's time to refocus on my origional passion of writting. As I have many times let my hurt and anger burn into pages hours upon hours. Until I collapse in a heap of utter exhaustion. I hate that I have a need to do this over again because it pulls at the darkness inside me. It makes the darkest feelings surface until I feel like there's nothing left. I hate it all because it makes me shut down because of the lack of energy I have. If I decide to pick up that pen. That dreaded pen.

Oh I've been lazy...

Hello All! It's been a little while. I did this already once... but it didn't stick.

Sorry all it's been so long, but I know I need to update the blog here with our trip to Southern California. It was nice seeing some sites and friends. We really had a great time. We were grateful for hanging out with good friends Dejah and Mike... sorry everyone else. Oh we had some great Mexican food. Finally! I've been in dire need of real Mexican food. Brenden had a wonderful birthday at Disneyland. But our first stop on our way down was to the LA Temple. We loved visiting the grounds of the temple. It was nice to be able to visit it. It was a Monday and due to the renovations we were able to wander the grounds freely. It was so beautiful. Brenden really enjoyed seeing the ocean. He spent hours letting the water run across his feet. Kaleigh really loved the ocean as well, however the sand was her favorite. As you may be able to see there was sand all in her and Keith's hair. She loved throwing the sand up in the air as high as she could. The kids had a blast at Disneyland. Their favorite rides were Buzz Lightyear (once again) and the Toy Story ride. I think they love the interaction and they feel like they are part of the ride and the characters really see them. It was a blessing to enjoy the week, stress free. Even battling ants was fun... for us anyway.

my late night rambelings... not worth reading but I was compelled to write something tonight.

I have no idea why I felt compelled to write all this... maybe due to my own struggles currently. I found myself thinking of a dear, dear friend that I miss dearly. I hope that by sharing this I can give you all a glimpse into my heart tonight. I cannot sleep and therefor, I'm not getting a thing done... I pray that if anyone else out there is having a difficult moment they can read this and understand something... I don't even know if I understand.

In times we are faced with the most difficult trials. Trials, that at times try to break your spirit and test your soul. You realize that all you have is what lies before you and happiness seems like an unattainable goal. There are times where darkness clouds your every thought and everything good seems like it's not going to last. It makes you feel as if you have failed to acheive the very goals and standards that you have once set upon yourself, disappointing all those that know you. You feel as if you have disgraced those who have come to see you as an example. Sometimes you wish you didn't have to be seen. But sometimes you feel like you can bare it. We all struggle in our lives and no one need be selfish and feel like their struggles are worse than those of others. We all have our weaknesses and our stresses are individually delt with. Tonight I've been reflecting on my past. I know that there have been some downfalls and shortcomings recently and I feel as though I have let some down. I don't know what I can do to repair what's been done. I can try to plead for the answers. Tonight I'm remembering a dear friend whom I wish I could have done more for. I don't know why she's in my head tonight but she is. I regret not taking more initiave to try to be closer to her. I was very cordial don't get me wrong, but I feel as though my unwillingness to go that extra step was detremental to her. I know it still haunts me. Especially on a night like this. I don't know why this incident is in the forefront of my mind but it is... and it is bothering me tonight. I can't sleep. I haven't felt well all day and I just keep thinking because my mind can't stop racing. Sleep eludes the conciousness of my mind. I don't feel as if a single moment of rest would find it's way to me on a night like this.

Tonight I remember a dear friend Anna. She had a beautiful spirit that was troubled with a darkness I didn't see. I feel as if I let her down, letting her have space and feel as if I made her feel sad and alone. I feel that my dear friend who left us so long ago could have been someone I could talk to on a night like this. I imagine she had many nights unable to sleep unalbe to rest, unable to know what was in store each day. What struggles she must have faced. What pain went on in her mind. I just think of how hard her struggles seemed, and wish I was there to ease her pain and soothe her aches. Her heart ached for something she could not find solace. I know her smile brought happienss to those around her, which was rarely seen. I look back and think of the signs I saw in her. The hesitation in her eyes that spelled darkness and loneliness. I think of something I recently heard 'you may feel alone, but you're never truly alone' in hearing and reciting that, I realize how true it is... While you may feel like you are alone in the struggles and the pain isn't something that can be understood. There is someone who will and always understands what you are feeling because he has felt it too. Our brother Jesus Christ has felt all or our pain, of our suffering, of our weakness. I know he's there to listen and relay our heart's desires. I know that there are not many things we can wish for in this life, that will affect us in our eternal glory. But an understaning of our importance and of the love our Heavenly Father has for us is above all. I know that my Father lives and I know his son, our brother, Jesus Christ lives. They are constantly by our sides, and in our darkest hours we can call upon them to pour the spirit of the Lord upon us to save us from the wretched and evil that seeks to disrrupt our comfort. Seeks to destroy our spirits, and feast upon the weakness of our souls.

I pray for my dear friend tonight that she may be guided and taught by the spirit that wherever she is. I pray that she knows her memory lives on always within my heart and that I will never let her memory fade. I will always be greatful for the love and compassion she had for my son. I am so greatful for all she did for him. As his teacher she touched his young spirit and taught him with love. I will always love her for the way she loved him. Anna you are missed and you are loved.